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You Can Be A Baseball Player, Too!

2010-06-29T14:48:00.001-05:00

You Can Be A Baseball Player, Too!
Originally uploaded by More or Less Mojo

I made one of those novelty photo things, for my mother-in-law, Kim, of Kim's Learning House fame.
Apparently it was a hit, and my average just went up.

Wild Free Agent Wish List, 2010-2011

2010-06-06T17:24:00.005-05:00

It's a little early to say what the Wild will need for the upcoming season, especially considering Chuck Fletcher's many signings of young players. As with the 2009-2010 season, there should be plenty of appearances from prospects, but there should be need for centers (Andrew Ebbett, Nathan Smith, Andy Hilbert, and Danny Irmen are all Free Agents; James Sheppard is a Restricted Free Agent), and possibly a few wingers (Owen Nolan, Derek Boogaard, Robbie Earl, Petr Sykora) and defensemen (Shane Hnidy, John Scott).
Of course, not all FA's are let go, and not all who are valued are kept, but I anticipate Ebbett, Boogaard, Earl and Scott to return, and mournfully expect Nolan and Sheppard to be set free, as well as Sykora, though I'm ambivalent about his inevitable departure. I hope for Irmen and Hnidy to return, but am not sure.
This being said, here's my annual list of Free Agents whom I would love to see in a Wild uniform:

Ilya Kovalchuk, F
With due respect to Martin Havlat, Kovy would be the most electrifying player in Minnesota since Marian Gaborik. Until Havlat can produce for an entire season, Wild fans will still dream of 30, 40, 50-goal seasons, and Kovy would deliver. Every team wants him, honestly, unless they can't afford him, or think he's a primadonna.

Patrick Marleau, F
With due respect to Martin Havlat, Marleau would be the most electrifying player in Minnesota since Brian Rolston (minus the slapshot, admittedly). I imagine a Marleau-Bouchard-Latendresse line, and am happy.

Jason Spezza, F
Big center with magical playmaking skills. Not a free agent.
...so it would take Santa Claus, himself, to deliver Spezza without giving up way too much. In terms of prospects and depth, the wild are not in a position to trade for this kind of quality; bear in mind, this is a wish list.

Lee Stempniak, F
Hands, speed and grit is the combination that made Guillaume Latendresse such a hit, and it's what the Wild will need, if Havlat, their only true sniper, can't pick up his game.

Tomas Plekanec, F
He's a center, and scored 25 goals-70 pts last season. The Wild have seen a lot of small centers(Walz, Bouchard, White...), and have gotten decent mileage out of them. I still miss Todd White, but Wes Walz was unquestionably the fan favorite of the group, because of his passion and grit. If Plekanec is tough enough for the job, I'm down.

Maxim Afinogenov, F
"Wild" is exactly the word for Afinogenov's game, and the Wild didn't quite deliver the exciting game, as promised, without giving up the defensive ghost, until Latendresse was brought in, guns-a-blazing. Could Afinogenov bring a similar sort of spark? ...oh yeah: 24 goals-61 pts.

Willie Mitchell, D
Wild fans will likely be glad to have him back, even after being a favorite in Vancouver. The bigger picture is that the Wild will need a tough defenseman, who can move the puck, if Shane Hnidy leaves.

Budget Diffusers

2010-02-16T16:51:00.004-06:00

This is how a charter school budget does diffused photo lighting:
embroidery hoops, plastic tablecloth, panel clips (for drop ceiling installations), and paperclips.

Films That I Finally Saw: Revolutionary Road

2010-02-02T10:18:00.007-06:00

In Three Words: This Devastating Stillness

One could say that Revolutionary Road is a story about a couple. To say that might place this film in a category with many others, that have an emotional and intellectual value tantamount to a meal of sawdust. Thankfully, this film is not one of those.

While so many stories revolve around a slow reveal that a seemingly-good relationship is not so good, Mendes tells us that right away. Viewers know immediately that Frank (Leonardo DiCaprio) and April (Kate Winslet) Wheeler don't have a good relationship, or at least that they don't anymore. However, this is not a film about a bad relationship getting good, either.

Though the plot events in following the lives of the Wheelers are captivating, the real power of this story is in the direction. Perfectly timed use of still shots, slow pans, and musical cues create an still air, which is oppressive. In most stories, a relationship goes bad, and we feel bad; in this story, a relationship goes bad, and we feel our souls collapsing.

Despite our many sympathies, one gets the feeling that the turbulence of the Wheeler household means little to the neighborhood. ...that, in the glassy peace of a 1950's suburb, the ghastly disturbances of lives gone horribly wrong would rather be passed-over and forgotten.

Perhaps that's really the point of this film. So many other films want to glorify people and deeds, but when April says "we're not special", it's really true. When happy, the Wheelers made a lovely accessory to the neighborhood; when troubled, the neighbors would rather not talk about them.

Such poignant messages come together with excellent acting and brilliant direction to create a story which is beautiful and haunting. My only issue would be the sparse use of non-linear storytelling, which works, when used, but is far from consistent.

The see it rating still rests at: immediately.

Grade: A

Lee's Birthday

2010-01-24T15:55:00.009-06:00

Lee had a birthday,
so we had teppanyaki at Sajiya,

and drinks at Dixie's.

U.S. Pond Hockey Championship, 2010

2010-01-23T16:20:00.013-06:00

Benji's First Birthday

2010-01-23T15:21:00.021-06:00

Films That I Finally Saw: Star Trek

2009-12-28T10:35:00.004-06:00

In 3 words: Energize? Very Yes.

Thank you, J.J. Abrams.
Thank you for making a film which is nothing short of excellent, despite all of the potential problems of reinventing a classic story.
Thank you for showing us action and humor and nail-biting suspense and gorgeous special effects, without making anything seem cheesy or unnecessary, along the way.
Thank you for proving me right, that it is possible to make a film that is fun and cool and intelligent, at the same time.

...and when someone makes that film, it is nearly perfect. Star Trek does everything right, from the graphics and the cinematography, casting and acting, and especially the writing and directing.
A detailed list could be drawn of the successes of this film, but it suffices to say that every aspect is excellent.
If the Transformers films were this well-done, I would not be mourning my childhood.

Grade: A+

Films That I Finally Saw: G.I. Joe - the Rise of Cobra

2009-12-28T09:50:00.007-06:00

In 3 words: Hmm. Hmm? Meh.

Unlike Transformers, G.I. Joe is a franchise which only has a few sources from which writes Beattie and Elliot and director Stephen Sommers could draw. Taking only from the Marvel comic books and from one cartoon series, the Rise of Cobra provides an interesting premise for a prequel to the original books and cartoons, with an excellent selection of characters. ...despite the absence of Roadblock, which is understandable--they would either have to write his dialogue in rhyme, or remove that most-identifiable trait from his character, and either choice is wrong.
Thus, the question remains with me: why did I eventually want every character to die, just to end the film?
The Rise of Cobra does well what most big-budget films do well, which is to make things explode in various ways. That is perhaps a given, and doesn't deserve a lot of attention.
What this film does not do well is provide characters with any depth, to the point where I would care about any of them. To wit, Shana 'Scarlett' O'Hara:
"Attraction is an emotion. Emotions are not based on science. And if you can't quantify or prove that something exists, well, then in my mind, it doesn't."
Of course, she learns her lesson, at the end of the film. Duh. Nevermind the fact that "science" can provide empirical and quantifiable evidence of the existence of emotions based on vitals and brainwaves, even aside from statistical connection to behaviors. The philosophical mind-body connection is the only missing piece.
...which brings me to the technology involved in this film. When writing a story which involves "nanomites" that make metal simply disappear, did it occur to any of the writers that the law of conservation of matter prevents this? This is 7th grade science, and there are a number of easy solutions which involve simply disassembling the structures, or transforming the chemical compounds into other chemical compounds. The writers apparently did not realize this is a problem, however, just as they apparently do not understand the meaning of the word "weaponize", or what a particle collider does and what one looks like.
Clearly, none of the makers of this film cared to spend any time making the characters or technologies involved any more intelligent than they are. This is a travesty, when the film's budget can easily handle a small consulting fee.
In my standard, that it is possible for films to be fun, action-packed, and smart, the Rise of Cobra fails on the smart, on a grand scale. On the handful of occasions when it tries to sound smart, it whiffs.
Preventing this movie from earning an 'F' is Ray Park, cast as Snake Eyes.

Grade: D

Films That I Finally Saw: X-Men Origins - Wolverine

2009-12-27T21:40:00.006-06:00

In 3 words: Snikt! Ooh, Shiny

Shiny, indeed.
Amidst a recent rash of bad comic book films, Wolverine is a breath of fresh air. Magnificently devoid of any gold-toothed, ghetto-talking robots, this is a film that succeeds on a base of excellent storytelling.
There are many pitfalls in telling a story so packed with characters and plot elements, and Wolverine does suffer a few of them. The film feels either too long and winding, or not long enough, for example.
However, the pros greatly outweigh the cons, as compelling characters abound and swim in justice done. This film manages to pull off the tricky trick of paying attention to many characters, without trying too hard. With many films also falling into the trap of adding humor or edgy content in the form of throw-away characters(Transformers 2) or lines(X-Men I, II), Wolverine instead weaves those elements into characters which are complete and well-rounded, with each serving a distinct purpose in the story. Said characters are also cast well, with no deficit in performance, to boot.
The seamless effects and sneaky-good cinematography only ice the cake, here, in what ends up as an excellent package, overall.

While Wolverine has an issue with time, it is much less a fatal flaw than a reality check, to remind us that few films can be even this good.

Grade: A-

Films That I Finally Saw: Transformers 2

2009-12-26T07:55:00.007-06:00

In 3 words: Childhood Memories Violated

In the constant cycle of recycling old material, the Transformers (now) franchise stands as a perfect example of the tension between update and homage. While it is important to recognize that it is impossible to mention detail of a 30-year-old comic book or a 1500-page novel, some projects have managed to make old stories look and feel new, at the same time as they preserve important character and story elements, and present a well-told, well-written tale (see: X-Men I, Spiderman I).
Director Michael Bay does make Transformers look good, through tedious attention not only to exquisite graphics, but especially to the mechanics involved in turning vehicles and household electronics into robots. However, aside from that, there are few bright spots, including Shia Lebeouf's performance, and Peter Cullen's casting for Optimus Prime's voicework.
What does not work?
Much of those vaunted graphics involve fights between indistinguishable robots, which only serve to confuse. Even our heroes, the Autobots, are difficult to recognize when not being directly identified in the dialogue.
Though Transformers 2 continues to feature robot characters which are or were originally captivating, it nullifies their weight by neglecting them (Arcee, Sideswipe) or by twisting and reducing their characters to the point of novelty (Devastator, Jetfire, Sideswipe again).
...and then, there is the issue of the Twins, Skids and Mudflap. They make little sense as members of a special force of robot hunters, and they are offensive to both intelligence and culture as comic relief. Overall, they do little for the film, aside from to make it more dumb and crude. Comparisons to Jar-Jar Binks, and even Scrappy Doo, are completely appropriate.
Overall, Michael Bay has taken a decent storyline, with good core characters, and has clouded any quality with too much emphasis on novelty. Crude throw-away jokes and bad choices in featured characters distract from the quality that is there.
My $1 spent on renting this film: better spent on a snack wrap.

Grade: D

Possibly the Most Unofficial of Stats

2009-11-12T20:29:00.005-06:00

Yes, 29 touchdowns (touches down?) for Frank Gore. No one can stop him, as he takes the ball and simply steps back and forth, over the goal line.

Halloween Tidbits

2009-11-11T22:08:00.005-06:00

I painted a pumpkin.

Ella was a pirate, briefly.

I won a prize for this.
Also, note the tired and delirious look in my eyes.

Derek, Angie and Ella - 10/18/09

2009-10-18T14:08:00.014-05:00

Ella found a fuzzy caterpillar, and wanted to feed it and take care of it. Minutes after setting it free, we found a second fuzzy caterpillar, half-squished. This time, Ella stomped it into oblivion.

Recent Disturbances

2009-09-25T21:38:00.003-05:00

Two things which reaffirmed my misanthropy this week:

A television commercial for a "grown up" Dora toy. Formerly the Explorer, Dora apparently has eschewed her initiative for multicultural self study and adventuring, for the sublime challenges of modern mallrat fashion. ...and of course she's growing up sexy. Duh.
Lucky, the Lucky Charms leprechaun, using the "I'll show you ____" joke. I think this signals the end of that joke's career, which gives it about five years until it appears in a Domino's Pizza commercial.

Fantasy Football Time

2009-08-31T22:01:00.005-05:00

My draft:
Round 1, Pick #06: (WR) Larry Fitzgerald, ARI
Round 2, Pick #21: (QB) Tony Romo, DAL
Round 3, Pick #38: (WR) TJ Houshmandzadeh, SEA
Round 4, Pick #43: (TE) Greg Olsen, CHI
Round 5, Pick #60: (RB) LenDale White, TEN
Round 6, Pick #75: (RB) Jerious Norwood, ATL
Round 7, Pick #100: (TD/SP) Baltimore Ravens
Round 8, Pick #115: (RB) Tim Hightower, ARZ
Round 9, Pick #134: (QB) Joe Flacco, BAL
Round 10, Pick #149: (WR) Domenik Hixon, NYG
Round 11, Pick #164: (RB) Correll Buckhalter, DEN
Round 12, Pick #179: (PK) Matt Bryant, TB

...I like that my even 11th-round pick has promise as a starter. I'll take that as a good sign for this season.

My Mission

2009-08-13T21:12:00.004-05:00

My mission: to make our cultural leaders and representatives more not stupid.
...to be fair, I think this website is Canadian, meaning, not my culture, exactly; also possibly from a French-speaking author. Still being Canadian should generally be less of an excuse.

The Final Top-Six Spot Goes To...

2009-08-12T15:47:00.003-05:00

I've been itching for the Wild to make one more big acquisition, this summer, and GM Chuck Fletcher isn't going to let me down.
With TheFourthPeriod reporting that the Wild are chasing Alex Tanguay, my hopes have been tingling. Yes, tingling.

For brevity's sake, let's make this a simple top-5 list, of free-agents or realistic trades which I would love to see the Wild acquire:

Alex Tanguay
Petr Sykora
Phil Kessel
Richard Zednik
Vinny Prospal

PGA Championship 2009: Tuesday Practice Rounds

2009-08-12T13:10:00.017-05:00

Vijay Singh drove it further it than I would have on #1

Camilo Villegas is confident that he won't hit Angel Cabrera

Y.E. Yang practices a sand shot while Charlie Wi and K.J. Choi look on

Stuart Appleby examines the #17 green

Justin Rose tees off on #1

Sergio Garcia and Retief Goosen follow the tee shot of a golfer whom I couldn't ID. Anyone?

Charles Howell III

Camilo Villegas

Miguel Angel Jimenez

Tom Lehman

Wild Acquistion Rumors

2009-08-08T23:38:00.004-05:00

HockeyBuzz.com is reporting the MN Wild to be top competitors in the a few high-profile races, in the continuing intrigue of this offseason.
This summer has been a dynamic one for Wild fans, who began this summer by meeting a new GM and head coach, both, but watching Marian Gaborik, the last of the original Wild, sign with the NY Rangers, in a move both as mournful and expected as one's grandmother passing. However, expectations for the upcoming season rebounded quickly, as new GM, Chuck Fletcher landed Martin Havlat, Shane Hnidy and Greg Zanon.
The summer has since been mostly uneventful, featuring a handful of depth signings. Fletcher has commented that he's willing to wait for good options, instead of burning valuable cap room. Fletcher's patience seems to be paying dividends, as opportunities have arisen--Nikolai Zherdev has not tempted him, but Zherdev's sudden availability is a good example. ...and after renewing a very tradable contract for Josh Harding, who is popular among Wild faithful, but not likely to take Nik Backstrom's job, Fletcher has cap room to spare, and has a bargaining chip in Harding, a great, young goalie who would appreciate more of a chance, elsewhere.
Could Harding be trade bait for Dany Heatley? HockeyBuzz.com thinks it's likely. Heatley is unquestionably a top-flight scorer, but his recent antics in asking to be traded from Ottawa, but dismantling an Edmonton offer and letting a San Jose offer fizzle, have taken their toll on his reputation. How would fans receive him?
Also hanging in the air is the fate of Alex Tanguay, whose star has faded in 3 seasons which featured 2 trades. However, he is still a player who has 580 points in 659 games, and it not yet 30 years old. HockeyBuzz hears that the Wild are also pursuing him hotly, and are near the top of his list.
Some Wild fans may wonder if the team is basically in the same position as last year--one signing away from a great team, but letting a popular star walk away, and resting hopes on a fragile scorer. These fans should be more confident in this year's chances. There are differences here, first of all in the establishment of Mikko Koivu, whom many are realizing might be the league's best two-way center; also in GM Chuck Fletcher, whom is quickly proving himself to be crafty in his trade, positioning himself to grab one more big-name player and still have cap space.
I expect Fletcher to have acquired one more player within the week, as the late-summer harvest ripens; the potential to combine with Koivu and Havlat (for an absolutely lethal first line) will tempt many talented scorers, and Fletcher has plenty to offer them.

Really?

2009-08-05T13:48:00.004-05:00

"A bigger question than who's responsible for the poster is what does The Joker have to do with socialism? Isn't he more of an anarchist?"
-Christopher Weber, Politics Daily

I would assume that the creators of this image are trying to draw a comparison between our President and unsavory elements of our culture--criminals, sociopaths...
...clowns?
Even if one thinks that our President is ruining our country, the leap from criminal to socialist isn't one that can be spanned by reason.
Just as when President George W. Bush was being called 'homicidal' by some, this is nothing more than name-calling. It is not any sort of cutting, edgy political commentary because it doesn't provide any reasons for comparing our President to a comic book villain; for it to even make sense is a stretch.
...and while the image manipulation work is fine, without an actual explanation of the ideas involved, such as an artist's statement, this whatever-it-is rings empty.

New Look

2009-08-02T23:40:00.002-05:00

Devin did a fantastic job cutting my hair tonight, which allows to take this self-portrait with such smoldering intensity...

Anyone Can Be a Photographer?

2009-07-31T12:10:00.003-05:00

For the past handful of years, I've been watching camera companies advertise their products by telling viewers that anyone can be a photographer. Each time, I cringe, just a little.
I will never deny that professional photographers can take bad photos, or that, conversely, amateur photographers can take good ones. I always wonder, though, how many ordinary people out there are of the intelligence and disposition to figure out what they need to learn and practice in order to have a professionals' tools at their disposal.
As an art teacher, and as someone who is trained in many things, but untrained in many other pursuits which I enjoy, there's a lot that I have to say. ...but I think Cody Ellerd's article in Seattle Bride Magazine says it better, as an account of an amateur shooting alongside of a professional. Perhaps anyone can be a photographer, but when a couple or a family wants that special moment captured, just anyone won't do.

Project Guitar

2009-07-29T09:26:00.014-05:00

Devin picked up with Washburn G10-V, 'as-is', at a garage sale, for $20; broken bridge, unresponsive electronics, missing locks on the nut. Herein follows the account of my restoration of this guitar:

I would have loved to keep the Kahler surface-mount tremolo bridge--Kahler is about the only company that makes a sturdy, metal-capable surface-mount tremolo (as opposed to Bigsby, and such, with which I would be afraid to dive-bomb)--but parts for this bridge are scarce, at best, and a new one would cost as much as a new guitar. I also didn't want to drill out an opening for a strat-style bridge, which would also cost as much as a new guitar, especially since I'm not ready to do it myself, and would need a luthier friend to do the work.
So, I gave it a fixed bridge. My installation of the bridge is the only thing which is wonky--a little too far back, so the 12th fret harmonic lies slightly in 13th fret territory...

Thankfully the electronics were mostly intact. I had to replace the tone pot, and re-solder most of the connections (this would have happened anyway, since I completely dismantled the guitar in order to paint it). The most difficult part was actually finding good washers and nuts for the switches and pots. Ace, Menards and Home Depot all failed at delivering parts that were sufficient for electronics work. (any good recommendations, please let me know)

Aside from replacing a broken pickup ring, the last piece was a string retainer, since the headstock is a goofy wide shape, and the nut can't keep the strings on by itself. This was solved with a piece that came off of a parts guitar from the 50's or 60's (I don't know because it had no markings). I tried normal string trees, but the shape of this headstock required that they hold the 1 and 2 strings, and then the 5 and 6, which are too thick for contemporary string trees.

The custom paint was simply done by painting a coat of acrylic paint, then 1 coat of acrylic polyurethane, followed by applying the design, cut out of a mylar adhesive sheet. Then, all I needed to do was to spray on the main color, remove the mylar sticker to reveal the secondary color in the shape of the sticker, and clear coat the entire thing.
...yes, the design is a high contrast image of Cartoon Network's update of the Teen Titan, Raven. My own drawing, thank you.
The bad finish was courtesy of a brush-on polyurethane which didn't smooth out.

First test run was during rehearsal for my 80's cover band, the Thupergroup, which can require a lot of tonal versatility from an instrument. This guitar was more than up to the task, having switches for each pickup and a pull-pot to switch the bridge pickup to single-coil, and I am very happy with it. Despite the drawback of the original bridge being prone to losing barely replaceable parts, I offer kudos to Washburn for making a very cool rock guitar, even if it has a goofy headstock design.

Dandy Derald and the Feisty Kangaroo

2009-07-28T22:33:00.001-05:00

The following was composed by one Cordell Monson, and is officially the funniest thing I've ever read:

Our story begins deep in the heart of Texas, where the water runs slowly and the women like big belt buckles. The most unlikely of the likeliest characters, Dandy Derald, opens his big greenish brown eyes as if to welcome in the new morning. Sighing slowing and with about as much emotion as a long horn steer mounting his mate, Dandy touched his head and pondered the emotions encompassing cattle breeding. "What a far out, hip-ass dream I had," thought Dandy. "I adore mi amore....," his voice trailing off into the winter air as a portable shooting gallery caught his inexperienced eye. Now, Dandy Derald had two eyes, don't misbehave, but only one could be said to have experience. When Dandy was a mere child, but not as mere as you or I, he closed one of his eyes and did not reopen it for many years. As a matter of fact, I'd like to point out that it had been many years since Dandy had experienced the joys of bi ocular vision and the technological advances therein. "A portable shooting gallery!" exclaimed Dandy, for he had never seen one of the fascinations before.... Not with both eyes anyway, due to the reasons I've already mentioned and feel I have gone above and beyond the call of duty to clarify.

Dandy Derald reached for his six foot sailor, a dude he really hated, and headed for the door. The music was playing and the lights were getting brighter, as they do whenever a six foot sailor is within armslength. As the dust began to settle behind the now "long gone" portable shooting gallery, Dandy felt a gentile tapping on his delicate shoulder. He spun around with the grace only his aerodynamic ass would allow and the demeanor any mother could, but never would, fall in love with. "Hark ye, Harold Angel," Dandy sneered. "You'd best be praying for thine birthday back." Harold Angel had lost hs birthday within two days of Dandy shutting his eye. But when Dandy reopened his eye, Harold's birthday did not return. Yeah, I know, so fucking weird. (I wouldn't usually write with such inexcusable profanity, but I firmly believe that in this instance it is proper and I have deemed it profound. Thank you.) "No." said Harold, "I want to ask your advice."

"Well?" Dandy stated/asked.

"Well, I want to become a kangaroo..."

"You want to become a what?"

"...a professional kangaroo."

Dandy Derald thought about the ramifications of things like vacationing on a star, eating arsenic, feeling around inside of a deep fat fryer and becoming a kangaroo. Finally, he closed both eyes, folded his hands and slowly, but not too slowly, said with a quiver in his high pitched fully developed finger puppet styled voice... "Hark ye, Harold Angel. You have my blessing as long as you promise that you will be the most and the only kang

Things I Cannot Say Out Loud: to an Annoying Wedding Guest

2009-07-28T22:30:00.003-05:00

Originally created on 7/19

Thupergroup played a wedding last night. As a show goes, it was a long affair; we were booked for 4 hours of playing time, including breaks between sets.

During the only break that we ended up taking, with the iPod dance music blaring from the speaker directly above me, I was approached by a man who asked me if I was in the band. "Yes", I responded, thinking that this could have been confirmed with a simple look at any moment over the past hour. Given that our first set was fairly soft, only livening up to the point of "Rock This Town" and "Rock and Roll All Night", it made sense when this man asked if we were going to play rock music, and I said, "Yes, we're saving it for later."

However, over the course of the second set, this same man took a number of opportunities, between songs, to shout "Roxy Music!", and look at me expectantly. Meanwhile, the look on my face should have said "What the hell is Roxy Music?"

It turns out that Roxy Music was a band, in the 70's, and probably a fairly influential one, sporting the likes of Brian Eno in their lineup. ...and "Roxy Music" is apparently what he had originally said to me, and I had heard as "rock music". Should I know this band? I don't see why I would--my parents didn't raise me on any music except for Abba and Roger Whitaker; my friends don't talk about them; my radio stations don't play them.

Regardless, when we were done, 40 songs and 3 hours later, we were tired and worn, and still needed to tear down our gear, sound system included. The Roxy Music fan was leaving, but used the occasion of passing me by(while I was wrapping cables and packing equipment) to point and me and say, "You are disappointing," with a big smile on his face. This probably was meant to be edgy and facetious, but it looked a little bit more like "drunk" and "annoying". ...and because he apparently felt a need to put more of a point on it, he added, "Roxy Music--learn it!"

...and what can I not say out loud, at that point?....

"Thanks, you disappoint me too; not for having not experienced a band, though. You disappoint me for being a failure of tact and social grace. So, the next time that you learn and perform 40 songs in one show, I will make very sure to criticize you for what you have not accomplished. Your musical obsession has nothing to do with me or my band, and your choices in asserting that obsession to me were rude and tasteless. I will listen to Roxy Music if you promise to never reproduce."

Here's to catharsis. Cheers.

A Look at NHL Expansion Teams

2009-07-28T22:24:00.002-05:00

Originally created on 7/11

After reading ESPN's Ultimate Standings, I found myself with a bee in my bonnet. Writer Morty Ain dogs the Wild, saying "the on-ice product is merely mediocre: Minny has failed to make it beyond the first round the past five seasons." Of course, the fan in me wants to object, claiming any of several reasons why this application of the word 'mediocre' can only be a product of shoddy logic.

Is Ain's qualification for mediocrity really that solid? Advancing past the 1st round of the playoffs once in five years? Statistically speaking, losing the Conference Quarterfinals of the NHL playoffs places your team squarely in the middle of the pack. By definition, that is mediocrity.

5 years of nothing past the 1st playoff round seems much too common an occurance to me, though. The storied Edmonton Oilers did not make the playoffs at all from 1992 - 1996; the mighty Detroit Red Wings had a stretch of 17 years where they made the playoffs only twice, while the Wild have made the playoffs thrice in 8 seasons, and have not had 3 consecutive non-playoff years. Meanwhile, the Columbus Blue Jackets spent 7 years as a statistical doormat, followed by 1 playoff year, only now beginning to find a stride. Every team has their rough spots.

If the Wild are going through a mediocre patch, though, one has to wonder if it is simply because of their young age. Like hockey players, hockey teams need time to grow into their game. So, my question became focused on expansion teams, which were started from scratch in the NHL. While every team has to begin from scratch at some point, close to half the NHL's current teams began in another league, and had time to develop their players and their system before joining NHL. The Wild and the Blue Jackets are the NHL's youngest teams, each with only 8 seasons under their belts. How long should it take an expansion team to find some success? How long to make the playoffs; to advance beyond the first round; to win a division, to win the Stanley Cup? As the Wild are only now entering their 9th season in any league, I looked at every expansion team in NHL history, and roughly sorted them according to the successes of their first 10 seasons.

New York Islanders, 1972: made the playoffs 8 of those first 10 seasons, making it past the first round in 7, winning 4 division championships, and 3 consecutive Stanley Cups. They would win one more Cup in in 1983 to make it 4-in-a-row.
Philadelphia Flyers, 1967: made the playoffs 8 of the first 10 seasons, past the first round in 5, and added 4 division championships, and 2 Stanley Cups, in '74 and '75.
St Louis Blues, 1967: made the playoffs 9 of the first 10 seasons, past the first round in 5, won 3 division championships. The Blues have never won a Stanley Cup, but their playoff streak extended for 25 seasons.
Buffalo Sabres, 1970: made the playoffs 7 of their first 10 seasons, past the first round in 5, won 2 division championships.
Ottawa Senators, 1992: made the playoffs 6 of theif first 10 seasons, past the first round in 2, won 2 division championships. Their first 4 seasons were just abyssmal, each year posting less than 20 wins or 25% of games played. They turned around quickly, though, and put together 10 consecutive playoff seasons with 4 division championships in that stretch.
San Jose Sharks, 1991: made the playoffs 6 of their first 10 seasons, past the first round in 3.
L.A. Kings, 1967: made the playoffs 6 of their first 10 seasons, past the first round in 3.
Minnesota North Stars, 1967: made the playoffs 6 of their first 10 seasons, past the first round in 2. Now in Dallas.
Atlanta Flames, 1972: made the playoffs 8 of their first 10 seasons, past the first round in 1. Now in Calgary.
Pittsburgh Penguis, 1967: made the playoffs 5 of their first 10 seasons, past the first round in 2
Mighty Ducks of Anaheim, 1993: made the playoffs 3 of their first 10 seasons, past the first round in 2. Now the Anaheim Ducks.
Minnesota Wild, 2000: made the playoffs 3 of their 8 seasons, past the first round in 1, won 1 division championship in 2008.
Florida Panthers, 1993: made the playoffs 3 of their first 10 seasons, past the first round in 1.
Nashville Predators, 1998: made the playoffs 4 of their first 10 seasons.
Atlanta Thrashers, 1999: made the playoffs 1 of their 9 seasons, won 1 division championship.
California Seals, 1967: made the playoffs 2 of their 9 seasons. The Seals were never fated for anything more than the recycling bin, it seems. After 9 seasons of name changes and lost revenue, they were moved to Cleveland, and finally absorbed by the Minnesota North Stars.
Columbus Blue Jackets, 2000: made the playoffs 1 of their 8 seasons. The Blue Jackets have matched the longest playoff droughts in this list, going the first 7 years with no cup dreams. This is probably more excusable since it was their earliest years. However, in their 8th year, they looked up and saw the playoffs. One more year, and they'll have tied the California Seals record. Let's hope they last longer than the Seals did.
Tampa Bay Lightning, 1992: made the playoffs 1 of their first 10 seasons. The Lightning had a rough time of their youth, making the playoffs in the 4th season, but not again for 7 years. That year(2003), though, they also won their division. In 2004, they won both their division and the Stanley Cup.

When compiling my list, I noticed a trend of more recent expansions having less success, with the notable exception of the California Seals. If it's fair to say that, can it be explained by the fact that there were only 6 teams in the league until 1971? Can it be explained by rule changes or the league's relationship to the NHL Player's Association? ...or by the league's expansions procedures? Regardless of the explanation, if that observation is accurate, I would have to posit my Wild as overachievers.

Of the teams expanded since 1991, only the Sharks and the Senators made the playoffs more than half of their first 10 seasons, and only the Wild and the Thrashers won a division title in their first 10 seasons. The Wild are in a position to make the playoffs 5 of their first 10 seasons, which could move them up a few spots in the list. ...and if expansion teams really do have it tougher in the modern era, I will say confidently that the Wild should have been on the bottom of the list, along with their expansion cousins in Columbus. The Wild, however, have 3 playoff seasons in 8 years, and a championship in a division well-known to be very competetive. To me, this seems at least on schedule, possibly ahead.

If anyone has any insight into the effects of rule changes, or player's association agreements, or expansion procedures, I would love to hear your comments.

Wild Free Agent Wish List

2009-07-28T22:22:00.006-05:00

Originally created on 6/30

Ok, NHL free agency time again. Here's my wish list:

Alberts, Andrew - D: I admit, my reason is sentimental-he's an Eden Prairie boy and family friend. The Wild would have to pass on more D-men than I would like in order to have room(Skoula, Bergeron, Foster), and they probably aren't shopping for another big stay-at-home man, even one that hits as well as Alberts.
Addendum: (7/8) The Wild apparently are passing on quite a few d-men, and added both Greg Zanon and Shane Hnidy. Hnidy will provide some bristling presence near the goal, and mentorship for big meanie, John Scott. The moves have the ring of change from the old administration, who had a habit of bargain shopping for potential over resume. Alberts would likely have tempted Doug Riesborough, but if Fletcher signs him, my guess is it will be because he's local.

~~Antropov, Nik~~ - RW: (signed with Atlanta, 7/2) Big scorer with hands and leadership? Sign me up.

Bertuzzi, Todd - RW: No, I'm kidding.

~~Bonk, Radek~~ - C: (signed in the KHL) I have a feeling he would produce more under Todd Richards than under Barry Trotz. He's not old enough to be out of gas, and there are old Nashville buddies here, with whom to play.

~~Cammalleri, Mike~~ - LW: (signed with Montreal 7/1) He's what we were hoping Pierre-Marc Bouchard would be by now. Magical playmaker with bonus goals.

Havlat, Martin - RW: I hesitate to add him to the list because he's so much like Marian Gaborik--so talented, and so injury prone. Apparently, though, the Wild just signed him to 6 years, effectively making him the new Marian Gaborik. I anticipate having the same mixed feelings when he scores 20 goals in 30 games on the season. Admittedly, though, I think he'll look just dashing in Iron Range Red.
Addendum: (7/6) Much credit to Havlat for being so polite and complimentary during his press conference. It'll be nice having a dynamic scorer who is really excited to be part of the team. No disrespect to Marian Gaborik, who reportedly wished Havlat well, even offering his condo, but Gabby didn't want to be here, in the end; even if he tried to keep his conflicts quiet, he was still breaking up with the Wild for the past few seasons.

~~Koivu, Saku~~ - C: (signed with Anaheim 7/8) Brotherly love is nice, and we also need more scoring, and depth at center.

Lang, Robert - C: (added 7/8) An old, injured center might be a bigger gamble than I'd like, and I've never liked his character. However, he still works hard at the end of his career, and the talent showed a-plenty last year in Montreal. It also seems like he's reigned in his mouth since his days in Washington.
...and thank God he reigned in that haircut. I admittedly had the same cut, once, but that was 1990, and I was 12. What was Lang's excuse?

~~Morrison, Brendan~~ - C: (signed with Washington 7/10) Another decent scorer at center, whose value likely increases with his role on the team. Probably a bargain buy. Can he continue to play full seasons of hockey?

Parrish, Mark - RW: (edited 7/8) Adds toughness, scoring and local flavor. Wild fans might remember him being a disappointment on the score sheet, but they might also remember him being a galvanizing locker room presence, and a magnetic leader who was captain for consecutive months. ...and if they look around the NHL, I think Wild fans might note that talented players looked lost and fell short under Jaques Lemaire(see: Pavol Demitra). It was a rare player that came into the Wild system and exceeded their previous stats(see: Brian Rolston). Even players that we liked scored less, because they were playing a different role(see: Todd White, Kim Johnsson). I think we gave Parrish the shaft, and owe him about a 3-year, $8 million apology.

Potulny, Ryan - C: Ok, he's a Restricted FA, but he's so talented, and he's another Gopher yet to come back home. Facetiously, I say make an offer.

Prospal, Vaclav - C: (added 7/29) Vinny's contract was just bought out by the Lightning, which makes him a free agent. Despite that chemically happy look in his eyes, he's a sharp scorer, and while he's had ups and downs, he's capable of 30 goals and 80 points (even if he's more likely to get 20/50). Still, we like 20 goals. 20 goals is not 20 kicks in the face, or 20 scorpions in your pants. ...and, oh, look--he's a centerman.

~~Sakic, Joe~~ - C: (retired 7/9) Who wouldn't want him?

Sundin, Mats - C: (added 7/8) Another hesitant add. After last year's half-season retirement tease and return, only to disappoint Vancouver fans, he isn't nearly as hot a commodity as he was. He also, however, might be looking to redeem himself, and he could bring buckets of goals anywhere he goes. In 12 full seasons with the Leafs, he never scored less than 70 pts, and less than 30 goals only twice.

Sykora, Petr - RW: (added 7/8) The free agent pool is thin at center, this year, and Wild may want to look at wingers for their scoring punch; they have centerman options in a few of their "wingers", and GM Fletcher has mentioned both Bouchard and Pouliot as possible centers. Sykora is both humble and proven, and simply does his job well. He often goes uncredited for being a prolific goal-scorer, and is a model of consistency, having scored more than 20 goals in each of the last 10 years.

Tanguay, Alex - LW: (edited 7/8) Despite a few down seasons, I think he's got plenty of game left, and would probably be sparked by playing in the Northwest division, which features 2 teams that both traded him. In proper perspective, he is a fantastic play-maker, but has yet to score 30 goals in a season. At 29 years old, though, he should have some more chances. With the Wild, he would be almost guaranteed to play alongside two of [Koivu, Havlat, Brunette, Bouchard] and that prospect makes me drool just a little.

Zednik, Richard - LW: (added 7/20) Career high stats of 31-19-50 are underwhelming for the talent of the Slovak winger, but he has heart and dedication. I'd wager that it takes a special person to have their neck cut open by a skate, and return to the game.

Zherdev, Nikolai - RW: (added 7/9) 25-year-old Zherdev is talented beyond question, but many have questioned his work ethic. Still, he has shown that he can chip in close to 30 goals with or without a work ethic. Currently a restricted free agent, he has filed for salary arbitration, but the Rangers responded by signing Ales Kotalik, which seems a loud signal that GM Glen Sather is plenty willing to let Zherdev walk away from the arbitration and become an unrestricted free agent. If the likes of Kovalev, Tanguay, Sundin, etc. are worth a look, Zherdev is as well.

Framed June

2009-07-28T20:43:00.002-05:00

Digital photography, 2009

Sammy Enjoys Ella's 4th Birthday

2009-07-28T20:36:00.003-05:00

Benji Enjoys Ella's 4th Birthday

2009-07-28T20:33:00.001-05:00

Ella's 4th Birthday

2009-07-28T20:25:00.009-05:00

Wishing for Wittier

2009-07-27T22:05:00.001-05:00

Example for a class assignment.
Photo-manipulation, 2008

Kierkegaard from Rorschach

2009-07-27T22:03:00.001-05:00

Example for a class assignment.
Photo-manipulation, 2008;
some elements from Warner Bros. and Legendary Pictures' "Watchmen"

Noodle Monsters Logo Proposals

2009-07-27T21:58:00.000-05:00

3 of several logo ideas for (kickball team) the Noodle Monsters.
2008

Sting Volleyball Banner

2009-07-27T21:56:00.000-05:00

Small design sample as a portfolio piece.
Digital photo, Photomanipulation, Design, 2008

Mojo

2009-07-27T21:54:00.000-05:00

'Mojo' is my rock & roll alter ego. He is a bearded entity perceived only in grayscale.
Photo-manipulation, 2008.

Hoff-Hilk Catalog

2009-07-27T21:51:00.000-05:00

Pages from a catalog designed for Hoff-Hilk Auction Services

Fruit Tart Table-Top Ad

2009-07-27T21:49:00.000-05:00

A table-top advertisement designed for Patrick's Bakery & Cafe

Dance Dance Meg Cover

2009-07-27T21:46:00.000-05:00

Cover art for a compilation CD entitled 'Dance Dance Meg'

Christmas Burn Logo

2009-07-27T21:44:00.000-05:00

Logo for a holiday-time music exchange project, entitled the 'Christmas Burn'

Art Postcard

2009-07-27T21:41:00.000-05:00

Postcard advertising an art website which never came to be.

Like A Ghost

2009-07-27T21:37:00.000-05:00

Written and performed by Devin Joesting and Bethany Tweeten
Produced by Mark Joesting, 2006

Some Things You Just Don't Forget

2009-07-27T21:35:00.000-05:00

Written and performed by Devin Joesting and Bethany Tweeten
Produced by Mark Joesting, 2006

Light The Peace Bomb

2009-07-27T21:33:00.000-05:00

Written and performed by Broken Noise
Produced by Joel Hinck

Joel Hinck - Vox, Guitar
Kris Gensmer - Drums, Vox
Mark Joesting - Bass, Vox

Reaching For The Blade

2009-07-27T21:30:00.000-05:00

Written and performed by Broken Noise
Produced by Joel Hinck

Joel Hinck - Vox, Guitar
Kris Gensmer - Drums, Vox
Mark Joesting - Bass, Vox

April Winter

2009-07-27T21:28:00.000-05:00

Written and performed by Acadian,
Produced by Alex Oana, 1999

Benjamin Horn - Vox, Guitar
Jamie Norman - Bass, Vox
John Gensmer - Drums
Mark Joesting - Guitar, Lyrics

Aileron

2009-07-27T21:25:00.000-05:00

Written and performed by Acadian,
Recorded live at Area 52, 2004

Benjamin Horn - Vox, Guitar, Lyrics
Jamie Norman - Bass
John Gensmer - Drums
Mark Joesting - Guitar

A Song For Devin

2009-07-27T21:18:00.000-05:00

A song written for my wife;
written, performed, recorded by me

When You're With Us

2009-07-27T21:12:00.000-05:00

A lullaby written for my niece, in the first year of her life.
Written, recorded and performed by Mark Joesting, 2005

Puppies, Kittens, and Flowers

2009-07-27T21:10:00.000-05:00

A lullaby written for my niece, in the first year of her life.
Written, recorded and performed by Mark Joesting, 2005

I Saw Three Ships

2009-07-27T20:27:00.000-05:00

Traditional song, arranged and performed by Paisley's Green, engineered by Mark Joesting

Growth Or

2009-07-27T20:26:00.000-05:00

Graphite on paper; 1996

Portrait of Morgan

2009-07-27T20:25:00.001-05:00

A portrait; graphite on paper; 1998

Ytterboe 125

2009-07-27T20:23:00.000-05:00

Portraits--residents of Ytterboe Hall, room 125, '99-'00; graphite on paper; 1999

It Is A Mirror

2009-07-27T20:21:00.000-05:00

A self-portrait; graphite on paper; 1997

Melancholy

2009-07-27T20:20:00.000-05:00

Final Bachelor's work; soft pastel on matboard; 2000

Sensuality

2009-07-27T20:19:00.000-05:00

Final Bachelor's work; soft pastel on matboard; 2000

Enquiry

2009-07-27T20:17:00.000-05:00

Final Bachelor's work; soft pastel on matboard; 2000

Curiosity

2009-07-27T20:16:00.000-05:00

Final Bachelor's work; soft pastel on matboard; 2000

Window

2009-07-27T20:14:00.000-05:00

Conceptualization of a window; graphite and chalk on paper; 1998

Weary

2009-07-27T20:13:00.000-05:00

Charcoal on paper 1997

Comfy

2009-07-27T20:12:00.000-05:00

Soft pastel on paper 1998

Self Portrait Under Christmas Lights

2009-07-27T20:10:00.000-05:00

Soft pastel on paper 1998

Study of Rachel

2009-07-27T20:09:00.001-05:00

Graphite on paper 2000

Enamoured

2009-07-27T20:07:00.000-05:00

Charcoal on paper 1997

Lahar of Pinatubo

2009-07-27T20:05:00.000-05:00

An exercise in impressionism; acrylic paint on canvas board; 1995

Ooh Pretty

2009-07-27T20:03:00.000-05:00

Acrylic paint on matboard; 2000

Eyes Open In A Storm

2009-07-27T20:02:00.000-05:00

Oil paint on masonite 1998

5 Minutes in Norway Valley

2009-07-27T20:00:00.000-05:00

Oil paint on paper 1998

5 Hours In Norway Valley

2009-07-27T19:57:00.000-05:00

Oil paint on paper 1998

Regal June

2009-07-27T19:54:00.000-05:00

Digital photo, 2009

Dramatic June

2009-07-27T19:51:00.000-05:00

Digital photo, 2009

Picturesque June

2009-07-27T19:48:00.000-05:00

Digital photo, 2009

Tatay and Benji

2009-07-27T19:45:00.000-05:00

Digital photo, 2009

Ella

2009-07-27T19:42:00.000-05:00

Ella's impression of Bjork.
Digital photo, 2009

Benji's Baptism

2009-07-27T19:40:00.001-05:00

Digital photo, 2009

Boogaard vs. Ivanans

2009-07-27T19:38:00.002-05:00

Digital photo; MN Wild vs. L.A. Kings, 2/2009

Random Viewmaster

2009-07-27T19:34:00.002-05:00

Digital photo, 2009
Taken on an iPhone

Benji's 2nd Photo Shoot

2009-07-27T19:32:00.001-05:00

Digital photo, 2009

US Pond Hockey Championship

2009-07-27T19:27:00.001-05:00

Digital photo, 2009

US Pond Hockey Championship

2009-07-27T19:26:00.001-05:00

Digital photo, 2009

Hennepin Bridge at Dusk

2009-07-27T18:47:00.002-05:00

35mm photo, 2008

Bird at Very Irony

2009-07-27T18:46:00.001-05:00

Silver gelatin print; 2004

Central

2009-07-27T18:45:00.001-05:00

Silver gelatin print; 2004

Feet at Frozen Muck

2009-07-27T18:44:00.001-05:00

Silver gelatin print; 2004

Relaxed at Normie

2009-07-27T18:43:00.000-05:00

Silver gelatin print; 2005

Dramatic Brigid

2009-07-27T18:41:00.000-05:00

Silver gelatin print from litho film; 2004

Dramatic Speedy

2009-07-27T18:40:00.000-05:00

Silver gelatin print from litho film; 2004

Seward

2009-07-27T18:39:00.002-05:00

Silver Gelatin print; 2004

Seward

2009-07-27T18:38:00.000-05:00

Silver Gelatin print; 2004

Seward

2009-07-27T18:37:00.000-05:00

Silver Gelatin print; 2004

Seward

2009-07-27T18:35:00.000-05:00

Silver Gelatin print; 2004

Seward

2009-07-27T18:34:00.001-05:00

Silver Gelatin print; 2004

Garden Statue

2009-07-27T18:33:00.001-05:00

Silver Gelatin print; 2005

Church Steeple

2009-07-27T18:32:00.002-05:00

Silver Gelatin Print; 2005

Weedy Wall

2009-07-27T18:30:00.000-05:00

Silver gelatin print 2004

Seward

2009-07-27T18:29:00.001-05:00

Silver gelatin print 2004

Brenda Sr. Portrait

2009-07-27T18:27:00.001-05:00

Portrait 73

Brenda Sr. Portrait

2009-07-27T18:26:00.000-05:00

Portrait 63