Films That I Finally Saw: Transformers 2

In 3 words: Childhood Memories Violated

In the constant cycle of recycling old material, the Transformers (now) franchise stands as a perfect example of the tension between update and homage. While it is important to recognize that it is impossible to mention detail of a 30-year-old comic book or a 1500-page novel, some projects have managed to make old stories look and feel new, at the same time as they preserve important character and story elements, and present a well-told, well-written tale (see: X-Men I, Spiderman I).
Director Michael Bay does make Transformers look good, through tedious attention not only to exquisite graphics, but especially to the mechanics involved in turning vehicles and household electronics into robots. However, aside from that, there are few bright spots, including Shia Lebeouf's performance, and Peter Cullen's casting for Optimus Prime's voicework.
What does not work?
Much of those vaunted graphics involve fights between indistinguishable robots, which only serve to confuse. Even our heroes, the Autobots, are difficult to recognize when not being directly identified in the dialogue.
Though Transformers 2 continues to feature robot characters which are or were originally captivating, it nullifies their weight by neglecting them (Arcee, Sideswipe) or by twisting and reducing their characters to the point of novelty (Devastator, Jetfire, Sideswipe again).
...and then, there is the issue of the Twins, Skids and Mudflap. They make little sense as members of a special force of robot hunters, and they are offensive to both intelligence and culture as comic relief. Overall, they do little for the film, aside from to make it more dumb and crude. Comparisons to Jar-Jar Binks, and even Scrappy Doo, are completely appropriate.
Overall, Michael Bay has taken a decent storyline, with good core characters, and has clouded any quality with too much emphasis on novelty. Crude throw-away jokes and bad choices in featured characters distract from the quality that is there.
My $1 spent on renting this film: better spent on a snack wrap.

Grade: D